Here are a couple of obstacles and some proven solutions.

FEAR – I was driving to a speaking engagement last year and it came up.  Yes, – fear.  After all the coaching and speaking, I do, I had butterflies.  It happens to everyone who cares about their work and actually fuels it.  Without a certain amount of excitement your presentation will be flat.  It is also true that too many butterflies can shut you down.

So I did what I tell my clients to do.  I flipped the word “fear” to “excitement”.  After all the feeling is the same, it’s just the way we describe it to ourselves. I started to tell myself the truths I knew about the upcoming event – “It’s going to be exciting meeting new people.”  “It’s exciting to offer important techniques that open a whole new world of speaking and connecting.”  Talk to yourself about what you love about speaking and let it carry you into your presentation.

HEIGHTENED ENERGY – Speaking is like performing in that it requires heightened energy.  You cannot move from your ordinary world onto the platform and expect the same energy to carry your message to the audience.

There are many ways of preparing ahead of time to meet this need. Two of my favorites are–

1)      Open your arms wide and stick your chest out and become the ball of sun that shoots out the energy needed to cover the entire audience.  Then take a deep, rich breath filling your body like a balloon with air and letting it out slowly.  Do it in the bathroom stall if need be.  But do it.  And feel the largeness of your energy and imagine covering the whole of the audience with your body extending to every corner of the room.  Embrace your audience.  Give them your gift – your message.

2)      Sing a song (in your head or if you can – out loud).  I actually do it out loud in the parking lot before going into the building where my presentation is being held.  In New York, before going to an audition, I’d leave the office I was working in and sing in an empty express elevator or even on the street on my way to the subway – no one cared in New York.  My favorite was from BRIGADOON – It’s Almost Like Being in Love.  One of my current clients (a television host) like to sing Whatever Lola Wants and I understand Al Roker prefers the theme from Rocky before he goes on camera.

What song would get you feeling terrific?  Why not try it before your next presentation?

So do you list your accomplishments and abilities and wonderfulness? Why not? Everyone does! My one hue and cry will continue. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.

What can your audience expect to receive from you? What is the gift you are giving that will make a difference to them – in their lives, in their work? Focus on that in your introduction and make sure the person who is doing your introduction gets your written speech ahead of time.

I did this recently. I handed my introduction to a women who was going to introduce me and she read exactly what I wrote; in monotone, without pausing, hurriedly. It made no sense.

I was distraught. What to do next? Teaching people how to speak is what I do. But I couldn’t prevent her from butchering a simple introduction. Her head was somewhere else. She didn’t care. She made a bad impression. And she didn’t help me either.

I’ve decided to put in pauses (directions) and then ask them to read it over before we go on to make sure they understand my introduction.

Presumptuous? Maybe. But how else do I take care of my audience? How do I make sure they get the most from me in exchange for their valuable time?

Another time a friend of mine was to introduce a speaker. My friend herself is an amazing speaker but she decided to really help this person and sing the introduction. The speaker was steaming afterward and said that she wanted to be introduced the way it was written without any creative additions.

How good are you at introducing people? Some I find are greatly lacking in this skill. They end up looking sloppy, disinterested, unprofessional. Don’t make that mistake when you introduce a speaker.

And when you write an introduction for yourself – what does it say about your desire to be of service to the audience?

Here is the introduction I wrote for the Public Relations Society of America Conference regarding Acting Skills and Public Speaking:

I’M ASSUMING YOU’RE HERE TODAY BECAUSE THE SUBJECT MATTER “GREAT SPEAKERS USE ACTING SKILLS” INTRIGUES YOU. YOU MAY EVEN BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND NEW WAYS TO BECOME A BETTER SPEAKER. YOU’RE RIGHT.  TODAY YOU WILL LEARN ABOUT NEW TOOLS FOR OUTSTANDING COMMUNICATION.

BARBARA KITE, WITH OVER THREE DECADES OF COACHING, SPEAKING AND ACTING EXPERIENCE, IS HERE TODAY TO SHARE THE BEST KEPT SECRET OF MEMORABLE SPEAKERS — ACTING SKILLS.  LET’S LEARN ABOUT HOW GREAT ACTORS CONNECT TO AUDIENCES.

PLEASE GIVE A WARM WELCOME TO BARBARA KITE, THE ACTING COACH FOR SPEAKERS.

Short, to the point and addressing the needs of the audience.

What does your introduction say about you?

This first one is a reminder. I have to read it every so often to get a shot of courage.
_______________________

“It is not the critic that counts. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marked by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasm and great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” — Teddy Roosevelt
________________________

This is for actors and speakers, but especially speakers. I offer to you the actor’s life – what it is about them that makes their work and their experience important for you to examine and include in your own creative endeavors.

If someone asks why you do what you do, tell them this:

“Actors are some of the most driven, courageous people on the face of the Earth. They deal with more day-to-day rejection in 1 year than most people do in a lifetime. Every day, actors face the financial challenge of living a freelance lifestyle, the disrespect of people who think they should get “real jobs,” and their own fear that they’ll never work again. Every day they have to ignore the possibility that the vision to which they have dedicated their lives is a pipe dream. With every passing year, many of them watch as the other people their age achieve the predictable milestones of normal life – the cars, the family, the house, the nest egg.”

“But they stay true to their dream, in spite of sacrifices. Why? Because actors are willing to give their entire lives to a moment – to that line, that laugh, that gesture or that interpretation that will stir the audience’s soul. Actors are beings who have tasted life’s nectar in that crystal moment when they poured out their creative spirit and touched another person’s heart. In that instant, they are as close to magic, God and perfection as anyone could ever be. And in their own hearts, they know that to dedicate oneself to that moment is worth a thousand lifetimes.”— David Ackert
________________________

We hide so much. It’s important to remember that truth is freeing.

‎“… I never understood why people get into such a state about nudity. For God’s sake, it’s much, much more difficult and revealing, and incredible, to show your soul, and that’s what you’ve got to be willing to do. Why anyone should want to be an actor, without being prepared to do that, I have no idea.” — Eileen Atkins
________________________

And this can never be said enough.  Too many of us focus on what doesn’t work about us and don’t treat ourselves with the love and respect we give others.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” — The Buddha
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♦     The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves. ~ Carl Jung

♦     When my daughter was about seven years old, she asked me one day what I did at work. I told her I worked at the college – that my job was to teach people how to draw. She stared at me, incredulous, and said, “You mean they forget?” ~ Howard Ikemoto

♦     Art… does not take kindly to facts, is helpless to grapple with theories, and is killed outright by a sermon. ~ Agnes Repplier, Points of View, 1891

♦     Artistic growth is, more than it is anything else, a refining of the sense of truthfulness. The stupid believe that to be truthful is easy; only the artist, the great artist, knows how difficult it is. ~ Willa Cather, The Song of the Lark, 1915

♦     Any great work of art… revives and re-adapts time and space, and the measure of its success is the extent to which it makes you an inhabitant of that world – the extent to which it invites you in and lets you breathe its strange, special air. ~ Leonard Bernstein, What Makes Opera Grand?

♦     Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

♦     Bunny slippers remind me of who I am. You can’t get a swelled head if you wear bunny slippers. You can’t lose your sense of perspective and start acting like a star or a rich lady if you keep on wearing bunny slippers. Besides, bunny slippers give me confidence because they’re so jaunty. They make a statement; they say, ‘Nothing the world does to me can ever get me so far down that I can’t be silly and frivolous.’ If I died and found myself in Hell, I could endure the place if I had bunny slippers. ~ Dean Koontz

♦     With any part you play, there is a certain amount of yourself in it. There has to be, otherwise it’s just not acting. It’s lying. ~ Johnny Depp

♦     When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap. ~ Cynthia Heimel

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift
and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant
and has forgotten the gift.”

~ Albert Einstein ~

How important is this statement to speakers?

Ask yourself how much time do you spend in your intuitive mind and how much
in the rational mind? It’s time to reclaim your “intuitive mind” and learn
acting skills. Acting skills will help you create powerful stories from the
heart, heightened energy emanating from the authentic you connected to a
message that will make a difference to all listening.

The “intuitive mind” will help you listen to your audience, individually and
collectively, so you understand their needs more fully and their humanity
more totally.
_________________________________________________________________

LISTENING AND WHAT THAT REALLY MEANS FOR YOU AS A SPEAKER AND ACTOR

excerpt from the MANCOS TIMES (Colorado) January 25, 2012

FREE AT LAST – win-win
MICHAEL STARR

Listening From the heart

In my listening, I often see others – myself as well – held hostage to
another’s response, expecting a certain reaction, then being disappointed,
hurt or upset because it did not happen in the way we expected or wanted it
to be received.

It is said that Lincoln spent two-thirds of his time in repairing a speech
with his thinking about the audience, their interests, their concerns, their
likes and dislikes. Few could question his eloquence and capacity to deliver
a poignant persuasive message.

Do we practice the “Platinum Rule” – treating others the way THEY wish to be
treated – in our communications with them? Are they not a customer of our
message? When we – when I – communicate with another, have we made a great
effort to understand them, have empathy for them, see them as our audience
and speak to them on their terms and listen to them on their terms as well?
Do I put twice as much effort into “getting” who they are, their needs and
desires, than I do in thinking through my message and worrying only about my
agenda?

Do I seek out the “no” and want to explore the “no” to bring about better
truth and clarity with another? When another says “no” or disagrees, this is
unquestionably an authentic response on their part, far better than a
pandering positive “yes” or an insincere agreement to follow up. So when we
get the “no”, this is a great stepping stone in addressing their concerns
with us. Are we ready to embrace their no and win them over so as to create
a win-win with integrity and victory for both sides? Avoiding the “no” is
the elephant in the room. Acknowledging and interacting with it connects us
powerfully with the other and best ensures we are meeting his/ her needs as
well as our own. …

* * *

Michael Starr is the owner of Executive Coaching Services.
He can be reached at www.executivecoachingservices.net
or by calling 501-908-2298.
_________________________________________________________________

In an Actors’ Studio interview, Ralph Fiennes said that in his audition for RADA he was told not to make it happen but to let it happen. And that that advice changed his work.

And here are many ways of saying it, so it might sink in. Because when I first heard “get out of your own way”, “leave yourself alone” at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York, I didn’t get it.

What does it really mean? How do you go about
learning to do this?

LET IT HAPPEN. Don’t make it happen.

• All your attention has to be on the person/audience you are speaking to– totally. Making eye communication – not eye contact – is what matters here. That means listening to what you are getting from your partner/audience and adjusting accordingly.

• You have to give yourself over to revealing yourself (it communicates your humanity and what you and the audience have in common).

GIVE UP ON PERFECTION – It is the enemy of great.

• You really have to STOP directing yourself. You need to stop anticipating, judging, watching, and comparing.

And it can’t be stressed enough. YOU NEED TO BE VERY PRESENT – much more than you are in every day life. Ask any actor or athlete. If they wander for a second from the “scene” or the “ball” and what is happening around them, they miss a beat and the audience, fellow players/actors know and everything is way off.

YOU NEED TO BE VERY PRESENT

• TRUST, trust, trust yourself and your instincts, no matter how “wrong” they seem in your mind. Your judgmental mind doesn’t belong in the scene.
  Marlon Brando in “Last Tango in Paris” laughs when his father dies. It makes complete sense when you see it. TRUST.

• AND MOST IMPORTANT – Remember it’s not about you – it’s about the story, the gift you are giving, the audience you are giving it to.

Frank Langella, Theatre and Film Star

“I do what works. I believe that acting is a wilderness and that just as you reach a clearing, feeling safe and secure, it’s time to march back into the wilderness. I subscribe to no method, no school, no approach. Providing an actor can speak, move, read English, and memorize, the rest is up for grabs.

There are, of course, certain basics. You must own your lines as you own your own toes. You must know what they mean and you must mean them when you say them. But, that done, the mystery of acting will remain your lifetime companion.

I have learned most from audiences, too often ignored by actors, as if somehow doing it for them is contrary to the truth of their art. Audiences have to hear you, they have to understand you, and they must be moved to laughter or tears by what you do. It is their comfort actors must consider – their pleasure. Actors send life across the footlights and audiences send back the reward.

It is, of course, not as simple as all that. If it were, anyone could do it, and anyone can’t. You need breath, stamina, skill and talent. The first three you can acquire, the latter you can’t. If you are blessed with talent, respect it and cherish it.

Young actors should, early on, rid themselves of the notion that there is a “right” way to act. There is only what works and, in order to come close to what works each night, an actor cannot burden himself with anything that does not result in the truth of the moment, and in the communication of that truth to his audience.

There is much to learn from the investigation of all theories, all styles of acting, and all approaches. But after he absorbs all he needs, the actor must be ready to forget it. He must take a deep breath, call upon his stamina and skill, trust in his talent and go out there and be.

All else is a wilderness in which the actor must happily wander.”

TWO ACTORS AND THE MOON

From The Invisible Actor by Yoshi Oida

“In the Kabuki theatre, there is a gesture which indicates ‘looking at the moon’, where the actor points into the sky with his index finger. One actor, who was very talented, performed this gesture with grace and elegance. The audience thought: “Oh, his movement is so beautiful!” They enjoyed the beauty of his performance, and the technical mastery he displayed.

Another actor made the same gesture, pointing at the moon. The audience didn’t notice whether or not he moved elegantly; they simple saw the moon.”

Your audience wants to see the moon, the message, the experience, not you.

* * *

Barbara Kite is an executive speaking and professional acting coach, director and actress in Portland Oregon. www.barbarakite.com

You want to make major advances in your Speaking or Acting or in your Life.  Where do you start? With ACTING SKILLS.  Seriously.  I want to share something special I do with all my clients.

The Comfortable Exercise below is the first major step towards Great Speaking and Acting Skills and Great Living that I give to everyone of my speaking clients and actors.

You must experience this process for yourself to truly understand what it takes to be even better in what you do and who you are.  It is the minimum required for interacting, connecting, reaching and empathizing with others.

I’ve had people say “Oh, I do that every day in my job any way.” And then they make a lame attempt at it.

It truly is important to commit to this process completely.

So I say to you, - you have NEVER done THIS before!  Not the way you need to in order to soak it into your body, your soul and your emotions.

Because it requires full and total concentration and focus – the kind you’ve never used before and you’ll only be able to cover a fraction of it on this first attempt. You see, it requires a life time of practice to really understand.

For example, the “PRESENT” you have to BE is not the casual kind where you give only part of your attention to something. It has to be ALL OF YOU in THIS MOMENT, in your physical surroundings, in your body, in your senses, in your breath.

So I give you this assignment hoping you understand that it requires a depth of commitment and being you’ve never entered before. Because if you have, you would already be well on your way to being an amazing actor or speaker or artist. Because if you have, you’ll be grateful for this opportunity to do this again and again and again.

The Comfortable Exercise

For 24 HOURS make EVERYONE you come in contact with, feel “comfortable” – not happy – but comfortable. Be clear about what that means.

You must be clear what “comfortable” means to you and to them.

Therefore, keep close watch to see that what you are saying and doing is making people comfortable. If it is not making them “comfortable”, try something different.

You must be PRESENT, FOCUSED, LISTENING ON ALL LEVELS OF YOUR BEING, ADJUSTING TO WHAT YOU RECEIVE FROM THE PERSON, TAKING YOUR TIME AND PUTTING YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES.

This is your objective for 24 hours. You may not tell them what you are doing.

AND WHEN YOU FINISH THIS ASSIGNMENT, I HAVE ONLY ONE QUESTION. WHAT DID YOU LEARN?

“What valuable piece of advice (looking back) would you pass on to the younger members of the groups?   Patience would be mine.”

As promised I have done my very best to summarize and put it all in my blog
because someone said:

“Within a forum like this, it is equivalent to having a knowledge base at your finger tips, in a “cliff notes” form. We all benefit from the thinking of many which may help clarify our own thoughts, bring new insight to us, and give us an opportunity to learn tools and techniques of others to benefit our business and performance.

What we have available here you can’t pay for, the words and wisdom of many all with the same interests. This is powerful.”

MARKETING:

This is a truism I can testify to from more than three decades as a professional speaker: you are in the marketing business. If that works out, your reward is the privilege of speaking in front of audiences all over the world.

You must be willing to spend at least a few hours a day calling, writing, and connecting with potential clients (and communicating with previous clients.) The business of the speaking business is as vital to your on-going success as developing “your voice” and refining your skills in the “art of speaking.”

You should spend 50% of your time marketing–EVEN when you’re booked solid!

Keep your eyes open to new opportunities and be willing to let go of old patterns of behavior and thinking. Be willing to try new ideas.

What is your mission? Define your goals. And remember Integrity and Tenacity.

AUTHENTICITY AND STORIES:

The personal is powerful.

Be authentic. The audience really connects to you when you are authentic and committed to them and their needs.

Being authentic brings an emotional connection that bonds you and your listeners.

I agree with the authenticity comments but you must be a true professional who an audience can respect as someone with exceptional platform skills while at the same time being so down to earth that they feel they can relate to you. They may be motivated temporarily by a slick canned message, but the lasting impact will come from the person who they feel truly “gets” where they are and has possibly even been there too. Hours of preparation for each individual audience, makes this appear “natural” and makes a speech become a conversation with each person in their own mind.

Engage your audience with a story or example to which they will personally relate. It will draw them in and keep them interested.

Audiences respond to emotion. You can intrigue them with statistics and logic…but you can only MOVE them with emotions.

You are only as good as your stories. Develop your stories and learn to tell them. Listen to great storytellers and develop an understanding of why you like them as storytellers. Learn by doing.

Learn how to interact with your audience, make eye contact, improvise, and go off on tangents as appropriate.

Never speak AT an audience. : converse with your audience; invite reactions, even if the audience is too big to be able to allow people to speak

LISTENING, and much more:

Practice extreme listening.

Validate the questioner when a question is asked.

When others see you take the risk for the right reasons, it provides support and “permission” for them to take the risk with you.

Always start preparations by asking, how can I serve this audience?

Approach each presentation as if for the first time.

Focus, focus and focus again.

Live in the Moment and Be in the Moment.

Enunciate clearly Collaborate!

You learn much quicker and have way more fun working together with like-minded people. I wish someone had told me that sooner.

Remember that everyone you meet is your client: the drive through clerk at the fast food restaurant, your bellman at the hotel, the janitor at the convention center. Everyone is your client

“Whether you think can or think you can’t, you’re right.”  Henry Ford.

 Barbara Kite is an Executive Speaking Coach, a Professional Acting Coach and a keynote  speaker who resides in Portland, Oregon www.barbarakite.com

My very favorite is turning it into excitement.  After all both feel the same.  I just replace “I’m scared” with “I’m excited” when the feeling comes up and inevitably other sentences supporting my “excitement” follow.  And in minutes I have myself on the road to excitement.

But not everyone reacts the same and there is no universal fix. Don’t try to use all these fixes at once. Pick out items from this list and try them out until you find the right combination for you.

Visualization strategies that can be used anytime

• Concentrate on how good you are at public speaking.
• Pretend you are just chatting with a group of friends.
• Close your eyes and imagine the audience listening, laughing, and applauding.
• Remember happy moments from your past.
• Think about your love for and desire to help the audience.
• Picture the audience in their underwear.

Strategies in advance of program

• Be extremely well prepared.
• Find a  acting class.
• Get individual or group public speaking coaching.
• Listen to music.
• Read a poem.
• Anticipate hard and easy questions.
• Organize your speaking notes.
• Absolutely memorize your opening statement so you can recite it on autopilot if you have to.
• Practice, practice, practice. Especially practice bits so you can spit out a few minutes of your program no matter how nervous you are.
• Get in shape. I don’t know why it helps stage fright, but it does.

Strategies just before the program Remember Stage fright usually goes away after you start. The tricky time is before you start.

• Be in the room at least an hour early if possible to triple check the public address system and everything else on your checklist. You can also schmooze with participants arriving early.
• Notice and think about things around you to be present.
• Concentrate on searching for current and immediate things that are happening at the event that you can mention during your speech (especially in the opening).
• Get into conversation with people near you. Be very intent on what they are saying.
• Yawn to relax your throat.
• Doodle.
• Draw sketches of a new car you would like to have.
• Look at your notes.
• Put pictures of your kids/grandkids, dog, etc., in your notes.
• Build a cushion of time in the day so you are not rushed, but not too much time. You don’t want to have extra time to worry.
• If your legs are trembling, lean on a table, sit down, or shift your legs.
• Take a quick walk.
• Take quick drinks of tepid water.
• Double check your A/V equipment including the public address system, projectors, etc..
• Don’t drink alcohol or coffee or tea with caffeine.
• Concentrate on your speaking ideas and how they will benefit the listeners.
• Concentrate on your audience.
• Listen to music.
• Read a poem.
• Do isometrics that tighten and release muscles.
• Shake hands and smile with attendees before the program.
• Go somewhere private and warm up your voice, muscles, etc.
• Use eye communication.
• Go to a mirror and check out how you look.
• Breathe deeply with your diaphragm, evenly, and slowly for several minutes.
• Don’t eat if you don’t want to and never take tranquilizers or other such drugs. You may think you will do better, but you will probably do worse and not know it.
• Open your arms wide, in private, and imagine your eneregry filling the room and covering every listener.  Imagine radiation sunshine from your chest, fingers, etc.

Strategies when the program begins

• If  legs are trembling, lean on lectern /table or shift legs or move
• Try not to hold the microphone by hand in the first minute.
• Don’t hold notes. The audience can see them shake. Use three-by-five cards instead.
• Take quick drinks of tepid water.
• Use eye contact. It will make you feel less isolated.
• Look at the friendliest faces in the audience.
• Joke about your nervousness. What’s the right wine to go with fingernails?

Remember nervousness doesn’t show one-tenth as much as it feels. Before each speaking engagement make a short list of the items you think will make you feel better. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different combinations. You never know which ones will work best until you try. Rewrite them on a separate sheet and keep the sheet with you at all times so you can refer to it quickly when the need arises.

When speaking in public use these steps to control stage fright so it doesn’t control you.

Barbara Kite is a professional Acting Coach and Executive Speaking Coach as well as Keynote Speaker in Portland Oregon.